Give me ten minutes with that chicken and we'll find out.
      --Tomas de Torquemada

      I'm sorry, Ollie. I left the hen-house door open.
      --Stan Laurel

      A chicken at rest remains at rest; a chicken in motion remains in
      --Sir Isaac Newton

      To boldly go where no hen has gone before.
      -- Capt. James Tiberius Kirk

      The ideal chicken must ideally cross the ideal road. Therefore,
      imperfect chickens in this world
      cross imperfect roads, imperfectly.

      Driven by the lash of economic necessity.
      --Karl Marx

      It is the essense of chickens to cross the road.

      Those who cluck do not know.
      Those who know do not cluck.
      --Lao Tse

      To see what's out there.
      -- Capt. Jean Luc Picard

      It was a national security matter.
      -- Col. Oliver North

      Oh, never mind that chicken. She's from Barcelona.
      -- Basil Fawlty

      Because it's there.
      --Sir Edmund Hilary

      The lions still roam the barranca
      And a hen there is always alone.
      --The Kingston Trio

      The telephone pole suggested a phallic symbol
      and like all female creatures she wanted to be dominated.
      -- Sigmund Freud

      The question admits of  limitless answers, since
      there is no one logocentric strategy of discourse that takes primacy
      over all others.
      -- Jacques Derrida

      This  chicken problem has many depths, but all of them are equally
      -- Oscar Wilde

      She was a victim of the Jewish conspiracy.
      -- Adolph Hitler

      She was a victim of the English Gnostic Drug Cartel conspiracy.
      --Lyndon LaRouche

      She was a victim of the Illuminati One World conspiracy.
      -- Pat Robertson

      She was a victim of the male conspiracy.
      -- Gloria Steinem

      She was dazed and disoriented after the extra-terrestrials abducted
      and genetically altered her.
      --Budd Hopkins

      -- Douglas Adams

      It was her True Will to cross just that road on just that day.
      --Aleister Crowley

      We made her an offer she couldn't refuse.
      --Vito Corleone

      To kiss your skin, to lie with you in moonlight...

      To impose a meaning upon her accidental existence.
      --Jean Paul Sartre

      Uncle Ike saw her first: just an ordinary chicken, he thought
      for a moment, a chicken picking here and pecking there, gradually
      working her way across the road toward the lawn; but then he
      felt the fingers tighten on his arm and looked up, astounded, to see
      him, the Colonel, eyes lit with a new fire, face
      aglow like a saint seeing a vision: and then it was destiny, a thing
      pre-ordained, a fatality, for the Colonel did not
      reveal even to him, Uncle Ike, the secret ingredients, not the names
      of the herbs and not even the number of
      them, and so the secret of the crust remained, a hermetic mystery,
      locked in the private places of the Colonel's soul: and yet
      the vision was real, a true moment of Fate; for the franchises sold
      almost as fast as they could slaughter and gut the
      stock, and they spread across the country, across the civilized
      world, making the Colonel not just a millionaire but a billionaire, 
      and Uncle Ike saw it all, knew it all, from the beginning to the day 
      when the initials KFC were to be seen in every city, every town, every 
      hamlet large enough to own two mules and an Assembly of God church:
      until now, standing in the shop in Jefferson, Yoknapatawpha County,
      where Flem Snopes, the bank president, hawked and coughed and spat on
      the floor, then hoisted his britches, country styFrom: d said to the
      waitress, "Extra crispy, please."
      --William Faulkner

      To leave the place she knew for another place And to stay there for a
      And then to visit both places.

      Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken
      depends upon the inertial system of the observer.
      --Albert Einstein

      To ask this question denies your own chicken nature.

      It was the next step after coming down from the trees.
      --Charles Darwin

      All hens are endowed by Nature and Nature's God
      with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of the other side.
      --Thomas Jefferson

      I sent a hen through the astral plane To learn our future, and man's
      luck, And by a by the bird returned
      But all she'd say was "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
      --Omar Khayyam

      It was not merely that the chicken crossed the road, Watson, but that
      the three Russian midgets and the Italian oboe player did not also
      --Sherlock Holmes

      When the emperor performs the rites with full reverence,
      and the court officers behave as true scholars and gentlemen, a hen
      may cross any road in the kingdom safely.

      The fuckin chicken crossed the fuckin road, okay? No problem, okay?
      --Jack Nicholson

      To die. In the rain.
      --Ernest Hemingway

      To escape the crawling horror lurking on this side of the road, a
      nameless and foetid monstrosity that cannot be conceived save in the
      dreams of madness
      -- H.P. Lovecraft

      There was no chicken, no road, no crossing. There was only an
      --Friederich Nietzsche

      This Department recalls the distasteful incident
      of the Chainsaw Subliminals -- World falling -- Photo falling --
      Breakthrough in hen yard -- Towers open fire --
      A few may get through to the Gate in Time --
      --William S. Burroughs

      She was seduced by the dark side of the road.
      -- Darth Vader

      She had beady inhuman eyes like strange black jewels and the kind of
      feathers a bird of paradise
      might envy. I knew  that if they made her a free-range chicken she'd
      take off and never look back.
      --Raymond Chandler