HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW ------------------------- A Cosmic Story Starring Red Dwarf & Star Trek NG ------------------------ It was an average day on the Red Dwarf. Actually, to say that it was an average day is kind of pointless, since there really aren't many above average or below average days on the Red Dwarf. So to say that the day was average serves absolutely no descriptive purpose, whatsoever. So... It was a day on the Red Dwarf. The huge, red, mining vessel drifted through space. You see, calling a huge, red, mining vessel Red Dwarf, is kind of like calling a large man who carries an oversized toothpick, Little John. It gives the ship character. Lister had been challenged by the ships sentient toaster, to a battle of wits. Lister was weary at first but, toaster managed to convince him that if he won, it would find a way of converting all of the 'Happy Juice' machines on board the ship into Lager dispensers. After all what did Lister have to lose, except perhaps some time. "Okay shoot." Lister leaned back on his cot, preparing himself for Toaster's question. "Are you sure you're ready?" "Yeah, yeah, get on with it." "Positive?" Lister rolled onto his side and stared down at the toaster, "Look I said I was ready didn't I?" Lister's voice quivered, he needed his lager. "Okay here we go... would you perhaps like some toast first?" "No I bleedin' wouldn't!" The toaster started to backpedal, "I apologize, I'm a service droid, I'm supposed to have a one track mind." Lister rolled onto his back again and sighed, mentally preparing himself for a truly challenging question. Toaster rattled slightly on the table then started to speak, "Napolean Bonnepart, famous conquerer in earth history..." "Yeah?" "Maybe you'd like a croissant?" Lister stretched for his lead pipe. Meanwhile, about five hundred stardates, two universes, and four dimensions away... "Dammit Q! We're here on a mission of peace!" A vein on Picard's forehead throbbed curiously. Q sidled over to the captain's chair and grinned, "I don't see what the problem is, I thought I was helping you out with the Mhalzarians." He adjusted his starfleet shirt at the waist and sat down. "Q, we were dealing with something delicate here. The Mhalzarians live by a very strict honour code, and having you traipsing around, pretending to be an admiral in Starfleet is just not acceptable!" Picard wanted to strangle Q. Actually Picard had made a mental list of all the things he'd like to do with Q, it just so happened that strangulation fell into the number thirty-six spot. "Look," Q started firmly ,"All I did was introduce the Mhalzarian High Council to a small part of 20th century human communication." "You mooned them Q." "So?" Q was enjoying this immensely. "So?!? So, now the Mhalzarian High Council staunchly beleives that it is human ettiquette to moon anyone that you have highest respect for." Q thought back as to how THAT could have been misinterpretted. He was standing in front of the High Council, and after he had introduced himself as Admiral Wesley Crusher of starfleet, he said 'And with all due respect I salute you.' And that was when Q, member of the Q continuum, destroyer of galaxies, knower of all knowledge, wielder of all powers, dropped his trousers, and introduced his hindquarters to the Mhalzarians. So it was a small misunderstanding... Back on the Red Dwarf... Lister looked frustrated. Rimmer had spent the past half an hour explaining that the ship's toaster was extremely durable in order to survive space travel. Lister glanced down at his now dented, and mangled lead pipe, then up to the shiny, unscathed toaster and felt himself wanting to cry, "Bleedin' unfair. That's what it is, bleedin' unfair." Rimmer patted Lister on the back in the way only a hologram could. He had done quite a good job of calming Lister. Rimmer had originally entered the crew quarters to the sight of Lister hoisting his cot above his head, while screaming, "I've got your freakin' pop tart right here, ya little smeghead!" If a toaster could appear overconfident, then Toaster was doing just that. "Well okay then, if not a Pop tart then how would you like a few crispy pieces of.." Rimmer interrupted, "Don't push your luck, or you'll find yourself dispensing toast in open space." Toaster still beamed with a toaster's confidence. He knew that he was in control of the situation. Lister picked his cot up off of the ground and slid it back into it's place in the wall. Heaving himself up and onto it with a grunt he managed, "What I need is a vacation. I need to get away from talking toasters... I need real people." "I'm a real person." Rimmer announced triumphantly. He figured that if he could calm Lister down, he might be able to cheer him up as well. "No, you're not." "I may be a hologram, but I'm still a person." "No you're not, you're a git. What I need is human to human interaction. I need REAL lager. I need..." "What you need," Cat strutted into the room, "Is a woman!" "Yeah," Lister began to daydream, "A woman. Not a pinup. Not an image on a slide projector. Not some computerized face." "Hey!" The image of Holly, the ships computer appeared on the viewscreen. "You're lovely and all that Hol, but what I need is a REAL woman. Someone like my dream girl..." "Kochansky?" Rimmer interjected. "Yeah, only this one should actually be alive." It was then that Q appeared. Actually Q had been there for quite some time now, but Q could never make himself known until the moment was just right. One might say that Q waited for his cue. "Gentlemen, you have stated your wish, and I have a proposition that will make that wish come true." Everyone stared at Q in stunned silence. All except for toaster, toaster was mumbling through his crumb-vats, after all this newcomer could challenge his position of control of the situation... but then again, maybe this newcomer liked lightly toasted, british muffins... "Who, may I ask, are you?" Rimmer tried his best to look like an authority. "I am Q." Q stretched out his hand in proper human greetings, though he toyed with the idea of using the new Mhalzarian method. Rimmer took his hand and shook it slowly. "Mind telling us how you did that?" asked Lister. "Did what?" "Appeared. From out of nowhere." Q smiled like a politician, "That's inconsequential right now, what is most important at this point is my offer to you." Q snapped his fingers, there was a brilliant flash. Not all that brilliant actually, it was kind of stupid looking. Q was no longer dressed in a boring red and black uniform, he was now sporting a leather jacket, army surplus pants, engineering boots, and three lengthy dreadlocks. "Ripping!" Lister was astonished. "Can you do that for me?" Cat scurried up alongside him. Another flash and Cat was wearing a suede, three piece suit, that looked like a cross between an Armani and a Stainmaster carpet. Q grinned, "This is but a mere fraction of my power." Lister was grinning, Cat was checking himself out in the mirror, and Rimmer looked at Q skeptically. "Captain Rimmer," Q began, and Rimmer quickly forgot the meaning of the word 'skeptical', "I offer you and your friends a change of scenery. A much needed change of pace. One could call it relaxing, with a touch of adventure. A touch of women. A little touch of something for everyone. Where I will take you, there is a veritable plethora of people, just ripe for human to human interaction." Everyone waited anxiously for the next words of persuasion to escape Q's lips. "I will give to you, all of that and more." "What's the catch?" asked Cat. "No catch." Q enticed, "Just promise me you will be your own, normal, selves." That in itself would drive Picard insane, thought Q. Everyone responded in dumbfounded unison, "That's all?" The Enterprise maintained it's orbit around Mhalzaria. "Dammit Q for the last time, would you just get out of here!" Q, who was having absolutely no trouble being in two places at the same time (He is Q after all), got up from the Captain's chair, adjusted his uniform and said, "Fine." "Fine?" Picard stammered, looking almost as dazed as the crew around him. He asked Q to leave and Q said 'fine'. Picard filed this away for future reference. Q grinned, "Allow me to place upon your esteemed person, my humblest apologies. Although being a member of the Q continuum is my occupation, making your life interesting is my hobby. You wouldn't persecute me for having a hobby, would you?" And with a snap of his fingers, Q was gone. The bridge heaved a collective sigh. Picard steadied himself. "Captain," announced Worf, "A ship is materializing in space, approximately.." "Romulan?" Picard cut in urgently. Worf raised an eyebrow, "I don't beleive so sir. It's much larger than any Romulan starships we've encountered." "Onscreen." The bridge's viewscreen flickered, and then displayed the image an enormous red space vessel. "Weapons?" "They don't appear to have any weapons charged sir, or shields for that matter." Worf tapped at the keypad. Picard moved closer to the viewscreen, "Enhance image, 500%". The belly of the ship now dominated the viewscreen. The words "Red Dwarf" drifted by. "Q?" "Look I'm sure they've got chicken vin-da-loo on board their ship, so you don't need all those bags!" Lister was stacking suitcases in the control room, the smell of 'Cup-a-Vindaloo' hung rancidly in the air. Rimmer insisted, "Please? I'm begging you. We can't waltz on board this 'Enterprise' ship with enough chicken vin-da-loo to feed a small mongolian horde, it's just not proper ettiquette." Lister finally acknowledged Rimmer's droning, "Look, only some of it's for me, the rest is going to be our peace offering." "Chicken Vin-da-loo? A peace offering?" "You got any better ideas?" Lister challenged. Rimmer thought for a minute, hand posed on chin. A grin crept across his face, "Traditional greetings at parties is a bottle of wine." "We haven't got anything like that." "What about a case of Lager?" "Like I said!" Lister's words crept across the room and pounced on Rimmer's face, "We haven't got anything like that." Rimmer backed down. Lister went into the hall to get the last case full of 'Cup-a-Vindaloo'. Lister groaned as he dragged it into the room, the suitcase's handle cried for mercy. Rimmer eyed the truckload of cases, "Well couldn't you find something smaller, something you actually WANT to get rid of?" Lister shook his head. Shaking his head seemed to put something into place because in mid shake he smiled widely, and his gaze fell onto Toaster. Toaster wished that during his conception, the electricians could have added a feature alongside 'making toast'. That feature would have been 'run-away-from-those-that-don't-appreciate-your- talents'. No-one on board Red Dwarf appreciated the single-service droids, not since a small incident where the ship's garbage disposal commandeered the navigational computer, and steered them headlong into a black hole, insisting that it was it's long lost, second cousin, Blake. "Sir, they're hailing us." Picard nodded, "Onscreen Mr. Worf." Worf punched the keypad. The viewscreen, dropped the image of the Red Dwarf< and replaced it with that of a human. A rather nodescript human, if you didn't pay any attention to the large letter 'H' on his forehead. "Greetings, I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise..." Rimmer cut him off anxiously,"And I am Arnold J. Rimmer, Second Technician of the Red Dwarf." "Second technician," Picard said to himself, "Could I speak with your Captain?" This time loud enough for Rimmer to hear. Rimmer's eyes shifted, "Well, you see, there was an accident a while back, a few million years to be exact, that left me as the superior officer on board the ship." Just then Lister stepped through Rimmer and pushed himself up against the viewscreen. "And he's just a hologram. Dave Lister's the name, and have I got a doozy of a peace offerin' for you!" Listers dreadlocks lashed out, as he spun, and stepped out of the picture. Rimmer looked apologetic. Picard threw a glance of disbelief at Riker. "Don't mind THIRD Technician Lister. I assure you that we're all a very friendly bunch of lads, over here on the Red Dwarf." From behind Rimmer, Lister could be heard screaming, "Yo Kryten! We're goin' on a vacation!" All eyes on the Enterprise bridge, blinked in astonishment. "Exactly how many life forms, not including yourself, Second Technician Rimmer, are on board the Red Dwarf?" At least he wasn't spending his time trying to straighten out the Mhalzarians, thought Picard. Rimmer thought aloud, "Well there's Lister and Cat. Kryten is an android so he doesn't exactly count as a life form..." Kryten, moved into the picture behind Rimmer, his pink, geometric face looking peeved, "Well I'm still a heck of a lot more sentient than you, you scrawny little..." "So<" Picard said, "That would make it two life forms, an Android and a Hologram?" "And a Toaster!" A disembodied voice on the Red Dwarf pronounced. Picard thought he heard someone scraping a lead pipe up off of the ground. "And of course there's Holly, our ship's computer." Picard reeled for a minute, trying to absorb absolutely everything. "Well then in the name of Starfleet I'd like to invite you on board the Enterprise..." "Right Smeg On!" Lister cried. "...so that we might..." Rimmer spun around, "Shut the hell up!" "...get to know each other..." Lister stalked across the screen, "Hey Toaster we're going for a ride!" "...better." Picard finished. Rimmer walked away from the viewscreen, "I said not that much Vin-da-loo!" "Smeg Off." The screen went black and the face of a blonde woman appeared, "Sorry about them, I'm Holly." "The ships computer?" Riker stood. "Yeah, look, Dave says to crack out your best Lager, we're on our way." Riker took over for the stunned Picard, "We have transporter capabili..." The viewscreen went blank. "They have severed communications," Worf stated the obvious. "Most Curious," said Data. Picard sighed, "Q." The shuttlepod from the Red Dwarf sailed slowly towards the Enterprise. It wasn't even remotely like a Starfleet, shuttle. It was much larger, much more cumbersome, and absolutely would not be able to fit into shuttle bay 12. "Look I'm telling you, we won't be able to fit in there!" Rimmer scurried around frantically, and hologramatically. "Don't worry about it, we only need to get the front end of this thing in, right?" "Only the front end?!?" Rimmer felt woozy. "Then we crawl out the access port." "Only the front end?!?" Lister ignored the hologram as Cat leaned over, "Look master, I have primo faith and confidence in you, but," Looking stern,"Muss up my new suit and you're dead." Toaster was doing his best to be quiet. He couldn't take it anymore, "You know toast is said to be great at calming your nerves. Anyone want a slice?" Lister jumped out of his chair and tackled the toaster. "Oh my god," Rimmer peered at the frontal display monitor, "We're going to crash." The shuttle hurtled headlong on its course. Shuttle bay 12 braced for the impact. Picard, accompanied by Riker, Troi, and a Mhalzarian diplomat who demanded that since this was Mhalzarian space, it was his right, to be the first to greet the newcomers. The four of them stared out into the tranquil blackness of the shuttle bay hatch. The large shuttle stared in at them. It got closer. Closer. Closer. Faster. Closer. Picard's eyes grew very wide, "OH MY GOD!" Now, the actual description of what took place, is damn near impossible. But to give you a mild idea, picture slam dunking a basketball, into a shoebox. It's almost the same scale. The front end of the shuttle was very, VERY firmly wedged into shuttle bay 12. Picard very quickly made another of his 'Mental Lists' of what he'd like to do to the crew of the Red Dwarf. He began searching his mind for loopholes in the prime directive, that would allow for at least three of the options on his 'list'. The access port in the front of the shuttle, popped open with a hiss. And four people toppled out. Well not exactly people. An Android, a human, a humanoid cat, and a hologram. And it should be clarified that the hologram did not topple out of the access hatch, rather it drifted down quite gracefully. The Mhalzarian twitched intently. "Stoopid git! I told you it wouldn't fit!" Lister smiled and motioned towards the shuttle, "And like I said we only needed to get the front end in. See? It's in, and we... are on board." Lister picked up his case of 'Cup-a-Vindaloo' in one hand and a small toaster in the other. Rimmer eyed the greeting party. The two groups stood at a distance from each other. Neither of them quite sure what to do next. Unless of course you account for the Mhalzarian. When he was absolutely certain that all of the newcomers were looking right at him, Khraak Heidall, head representative of the Mhalzarian people and master of diplomatic technique, turned round, unfastened his belt, bent over, and flashed his bum. "Oh god." stated Rimmer, as Cat whistled appreciatively, Kryten look astonished, Counsellor Troi fainted, Riker toyed with the idea of dropping his pants too in order to make it all look official, Toaster mumbled something about buns, and Lister howled turned himself around and.... well... 'When in Rome'. HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW PART TWO ------------------------- A Cosmic Story Starring Red Dwarf & Star Trek NG ------------------------ by: Kipp Lightburn Picard leaned back in his chair and took in the site of his ready room. It was a calm and quiet place. A nice change from the last few hours of Mhalzarians, Visitors from the Red Dwarf, and Q. Not to mention more bare buttocks than Picard was prepared for. Picard sighed, "Captains log. Stardate..." "Excuse me sir." Picard glanced around. There was nobody else there. "Sir?" "Who is that?" Picard stood, beginning to get a little frantic. "Down here sir, on your desk." Picard's gaze fell onto his desk. There was nothing there, save his computer, his copy of 'Paradise Lost", and the toaster he had been given by that Lister fellow. The last one caught his curiousity. "Is this voice coming from..." "Your own personal happy-slice sentient toaster!" The toaster beamed with pride. "I see." "And seeing as how we're just getting acquainted how about I introduce you to a bagel or two?" Toaster liked having a new audience. It meant having a new stomach to please, new taste-buds to taunt with the mouth watering flavour of bready digestables, and perhaps he even had toast loving friends! "No thank you. I'm just in the middle of the Captains log, could we hold this off for a moment please?" Picard was amazed at how polite he was being... to a toaster. Picard blinked. Toaster tried a new approach,"AH! So you're a speech man! You like presentations, and meetings and that sort of thing." "I suppose." "Well don't let me interrupt you then. I after all have the utmost respect for men delivering presentations." Picard smiled politely, unsure if the toaster could even see him, "Many thanks. This should only take a minute." "No problem whatsoever." Picard cleared his throat, "Captains log. Stardate..." "Oopsie doo!" Picard glared at the toaster, "What is it?" "You've forgotten something." "And what is that?" "No presentation is complete without a toast. It just so happens that I have some right here! You're in luck!" Riker slouched back in the captain's chair. He was exhausted. He was tired. He was pooped. He was... well you get my meaning. He had just spent the last hour giving the visitors from the Red Dwarf a tour of the Enterprise. It was an arduous hour that had him answering a barrage of assinine questions from Second Technician Rimmer about the command structure of Starfleet, and how a hologram might get his hands on a rank or two. Riker had left Third Technician Lister in holodeck 3, where he was last seen scouring the databanks for the key word "Pornography" but finally settled for a modified version of the children's program on human reproduction. Kryten and Data had gone off to Ten-Forward to discuss the merits of being artificial lifeforms. And the visitor known as Cat was missing. Riker had lost track of him entirely about ten minutes into the tour. Riker began to yawn when his communicator clicked on, "NUMBER ONE! Get into my ready room at once! And bring a phaser!" "Mr. Worf." Riker commanded as he leapt from the chair. The Klingon followed close behind him, phaser ready. The door to the ready room whooshed open revealing a distressing site. It was a mess. It seemed that anything that could be picked up was scattered about the floor. Gnarled and dented beyond recognition. In the middle of it all was Picard. The captain of the Enterprise was battering away at a small toaster with a leather bound book. The words "Paradise Lost" blurred through the air with each of his strikes. "Captain!" Riker rushed to his side and knelt down. "Mr. Worf, set your phaser to maximum and destroy this toaster." Picard managed through a tear drenched, grief stricken face. "Sir?" Worf asked. "Just shut it up... please just shut it the hell up!" Toaster was confused, but decided to fix the situation, "Now now, it's not so bad. I bet what a British chap like yourself could use right now is a good old english muffin!" "I'm French!" Picard squealed. "With that accent?" Picard's hot, red face glared at the toaster. "Okay," Toaster began backpedalling, "So you're French. Then what you need is obvious." "What?" Asked Riker. "He needs a croissant!" Worf set his phaser to maximum kill and grinned. Off in one of the many dark corners of the Enterprises access tunnels sat a well groomed humanoid. It was Cat, his face wrought with depression. "No need to be sad when I've got a stunningly suave and handsome force of nature like myself to keep me company." Cat tried to soothe himself but he couldn't help it. He was jealous. "You don't look too happy." It was that well mannered fashion designer 'W'. Or was it Q? "No-one around here appreciates the site of someone as dashingly sexy as me. They're all jealous." Cat said dryly. Q looked him over, "In all of my travels through thousands of dimensions, I must say that you are by far the best dressed creature in existence." Cat smiled, and Q realized that flattery was getting him everywhere. "You think so?" "Absolutely! Not even the suede-bearers on Tyronis III can match your color co-ordination. I thought I'd seen it all, but I was wrong. I knew that I was just dead wrong, the moment my godlike eyes came to rest on you." "I knew it." Cat purred. If he wasn't in an access tunnel, he'd have been strutting. "You know what you need?" Q announced, "You need someone who can appreciate you to your fullest." Cat grinned, "I think you're doing a fine job at that." Q began to sleaze,"I was thinking of someone a little more feminine. Perhaps even a little more feline." Cat ears perked up, "There's another cat in this place." "Absolutely. I'm shocked that Captain Picard didn't introduce you as soon as you came on board. But don't worry, I'll introduce you to her." Cat began smoothing out his jacket, "Whats her name?" Q grinned, "Spot." And with a flash they were gone. "I left him on holodeck 3." said Riker as he, Worf, and Picard walked in a nearly sprinting sort of way down the corridor. "What about Rimmer?" Picard asked. Riker wanted nothing more to do with Rimmer so he had put him in the best place he could think of, "He's in the middle of a Starfleet Academy Mock Entrance Exam." Picard coughed with disbelief as they approached the entrance to the holodeck. "Believe me, if any of them can shut off the toaster it'll be Third Technician Lister. I think he's probably the sanest one of the bunch." Riker tried to comfort his captain. As the doors to the holodeck slid open the three of them were nearly knocked over by the loud rock music. Worf stepped inside and was nearly trampled by a parade of topless women chanting, "Lister! Lister! He's our man! If he can't do us, no-one can!" "Number One! Wipe that grin off your face!" Picard barked at Riker. "Computer. End program." Said Worf with authority. Nothing. Picard was astonished, "Computer. End program." Nothing. He slapped his communicator, "Mr. Laforge?" "Yes sir?" "The computer on holodeck three is not responding. What's the problem?" There was a slight pause, as if Laforge was trying to come up with something to say, "Sir. I'm not too sure. We lost computer control just seconds ago when we tried to patch into the Red Dwarf's database." Picard regained his composure, "I'll be right down. Picard out." Riker and Worf looked at him. "You two go in there and find that... that... perverted lunatic. I'll go and see if i can't get the computer working." "Aye sir." They said in unison. "Fascinating." "You really think so?" "Absolutely." Data leaned toward Kryten. "I seek emotions, and you wish to be rid of yours because they instill nothing but schizophenia, paranoia, and various other states of instability, and emotional insecurity." Kryten smiled, "I suppose it is quite fascinating." "What would you say was the most evident case of paranoia that you've experienced?" Kryten twitched sporadically while he thought about this, "I suppose it was the time we discovered a rancid, flatulent, interstellar wilda beast inside a case of vin-da-loo. Well my circuits went into overload, and before I knew it, my legs were covered in hydraulic fluid." "You wet yourself." Data concluded. "Exactly. It was quite the embarrassment I'll have you know." "I have no idea what it is to be embarrassed." Kryten's mechanical eyebrows furrowed, "It's not that big a deal. It's a very uncomfortable experience. And Mister Lister called me 'Swampy Pants' for several weeks after that." Data appeared wishful, "I suppose because you are used to it, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But for someone who is incapable of being embarassed it is a huge deal." "You mean... you can't be embarrassed?" "I'm afraid not." "Have you ever tried?" Data thought about this, "No. I have not. Perhaps I should see if it is possible." Kryten gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder, "Why not indeed. You never know until you try." Data smiled and nodded. He then began constructing a program in his CPU. Tentatively titled "Swampy Pants Program One". Kryten waited with anticipation as Data stared off into open space, "Mister Data?" "Yes?" "Are you going to do it?" Data glanced around, "It is already done. I feel no different. There is no overwhelming sense of embarrassment. Simply the feeling of extreme moisture on the front of my uniform." "That's a shame," said Kryten as Guinan appeared next to the table, holding a mop. "Basic manual computer control is still here, but voice control and the ships major functions just aren't responding captain." LaForge stared at Picard through his visor. "It happened as soon as you patched into their computer?" "Yes sir. And we haven't been able to figure out exactly where the flaw is." Picard raised a finger, "Perhaps it was just a temporary surge, let me try again." He cleared his throat, "Computer?" Laforge shrugged. "Computer?" Picard tried again. "I've got a name you know." A new voice rang out over the computer's speakers. LaForge looked shocked and began punching keys at the workstation next to him. "Pardon?" Picard looked around, the voice was feminine, but British, and he seemed to recognize it. "I have a name. So stop calling me by what I am, and start referring to me by my name. Unless you want me to treat you the same way and start referring to you as 'bossy little bald pratt'." Picard's face registered recognition, "Is this Holly?" "Oh dear god, he called me by my name, what an accomplishment, would you like to lie down now. Perhaps a pillow?" Holly's sarcasm dripped from the speakers. LaForge asked, "Who's Holly?" "The computer on the Red Dwarf," answered Picard as an image of Holly appeared on one of the nearby moniters. "Maybe we should get one of the crew from the Red Dwarf down here, they might be able to help us out," suggested LaForge. "Good idea. Computer?" Picard asked aloud out of habit. "What can I do for you 'bossy little bald pratt'?" It was right about here that Picard began to hate Q. Not a passing dislike. Not a general discomfort with the intrusive member of the Q continuum. Not a feeling of fevered dislike that travelled in and out of the transom of his mind. Not even a loathing desire to feed Q bit by bit through a matter converter. Picard HATED Q with every fibre of his prime directive following body. And Q was loving every minute of it... =-=-=-=-=-=- Any and all feedback would be greatly welcomed.... -- Kipp Lightburn (ah804@freenet.carleton.ca)=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where shadows lie." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=